Bisexuality has different meanings for different people. Bisexuality can be defined as the potential of a person to be attracted physically, emotionally and/or sexually to people regardless of their gender. In its simplest form, bisexuality is the attraction of a person to men and women..

More women than you think harbor bisexual feelings, dreams and fantasies. Many keep them at that level. Others express them through close emotional but non-sexual friendships. Still other women rejoice in their bisexuality, whether out publicly or privately, in social or political settings, in their relationships or just through sex. Some women discover their bisexuality at an early age while others find it emerges over time as one becomes aware of and open to life’s possibilities. Some women, as do some men, try to ignore or suppress their feelings and deny who they really are. They may choose to call themselves straight or lesbian to fit the expectations of others or their own need to belong. One should strive to be true to one’s self first through accepting one’s feelings and accepting others. This can lead to more open, honest, caring and fulfilling relationships and  inner peace and happiness.

Some people falsely believe that bisexuality is about swinging with other couples or singles of both genders. The truth is that bisexuality is about who you are, not who you are with. That aside, most bisexual people tend to be attracted to one gender more or less than the other. The degree of attraction towards one or the other can also change over time, even from week to week. Many bisexual people live their lives in monogamous relationships, committed to one partner but aware of their attractions towards other men and women. Others may have serial monogamous relationships or live in triads or group relationships or have a primary relationship and secondary partners. Many now turn to bisexual support and social groups for friendships.

Why Identify as Bisexual?

Why not! Choosing a Bisexual identity to describe you is as valid as any other person who chooses a Gay, Lesbian, Queer or Straight identity. Whatever identity a person chooses, it should be their choice and not forced upon them by others, society or subjected to criticism, harassment or discrimination by others. Our sexual identity is only one of many identities we have: student, wife, mother, business woman, activist, poet, Chinese, Australian, black, white, working class, feminist, lover, etc. Being Bisexual is about being in touch with your feelings rather than whom you’re having sex with. It is about not limiting your options to one gender.

Your sexual identity can be a very private thing or a very public thing. It might be used in a very sexual way or a very political way. You may use it to describe the way you feel or the way you behave or the type of relationships you have. The way you express your bisexuality must ultimately be your choice for happiness.

"In dealing with such issues (husband’s bisexuality) I have examined my own sexuality. I have had to admit to myself that I too could be bi-sexual. I have acknowledged to myself that if I was looking for a partner again, I might not limit potential choices to just men. I have shared this with a few people close to me. I ponder why sexual orientation can change during a person’s lifetime. I have also begun to question how much of an individual’s sexual orientation is due to socialization and how much is biological. Perhaps a lot more people who regard themselves as gay/lesbian or heterosexual are in fact bi-sexual.” Anonymous

Women and HIV/AIDS

Women are not immune to sexually transmitted diseases including the Human Immune-deficiency Virus (HIV). World wide, it was estimated that the number of women with HIV and AIDS will surpass the number of men. In the USA, AIDS is the leading killer of young women.

HIV is found in the vaginal secretions, in blood, semen (cum), in breast milk and in the secretions inside the rectum of infected people. Unprotected sex can transmit HIV and diseases such as gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, genital warts and hepatitis B from an infected person to an uninfected woman or man. A woman can transmit these diseases to another woman through infected vaginal and anal secretions or blood via fingers, fists, and sex toys or on the penis of a mutual male partner.

The use of disposable gloves and condoms can reduce the risk of infection. Use condoms and a water based lubricant when having intercourse with men. While the risk of HIV infection through oral sex is low, it has occurred and other sexually transmitted diseases can be transmitted during oral-vaginal, oral-anal or oral-penile sex. The use of a barrier such as a dental dam or condom can be used. HIV and some other infections can be transmitted from mother to baby in the womb, during birth or may occur during breast-feeding. The sharing of needles to inject drugs or medication can transmit HIV, Hepatitis B and C and syphilis. Genital wart infections have been linked to cancer of the cervix and sexually active women should have a regular Pap smear screening and women over 40 should have regular breast and pap smear screenings. Vaccinations for Hepatitis A and B are available from sexual health clinics or your doctor.

Be informed, Be safe

Recommended Reading

• Women and Bisexuality by Sue George, 1993, Scarlet Press, London, United Kingdom.
• Bi Any Other Name : Bisexual People Speak Out edited by Loraine Hutchins & Lani Kaahumanu, 1991, Alyson Publications, Boston, USA.
• Bisexuality and Feminism edited by Elizabeth Reba Weise, 1992, Seal Press.
• Bisexual Politics - Theories, Queries & Visions edited by Naomi Tucker, 1995, Harrington Park Press, New York.
• Bisexuality and the Challenge to Lesbian Politics: Sex, Loyality and Revolution by Paula C. Rust, 1995, New York University Press, New York.
• The Bisexual Option 2nd Ed. by Fritz Klein, 1993, Haworth Press, New York.
• Bisexual Horizons: Politics, Histories, Lives edited by Sharon Rose, Cris Stevens et al, 1996, The Off Pink Collective; Lawrence & Wishart, London, UK.
• The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming Out Crisis for Straight Spouses by Amity Pierce Buxton, 1991, IBS Press, Santa Monica, USA.